I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize