Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
