Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Life is so much better after having sex.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
