I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
