I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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