Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I did not marry a roomba.
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