My room smells like vodka and shame
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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