so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
