Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
