We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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