it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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