I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
