If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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