Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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