I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
