Kiss
Puke
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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