Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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