You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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