So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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