Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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