Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
