We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
