where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
