drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
