I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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