Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
why didn't you poke me back
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
