I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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