Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
