you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
