remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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