i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
