So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
