I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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