Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
