marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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