You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
