Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
