Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
where are my eyebrows?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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