I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
