You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
YAS. BRING CRAB.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
