ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
