Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Just puked most of my soul out..
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
