3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
