38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
