Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I will be naked everywhere
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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