cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize