We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
A+ Viking dick
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
