is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
