he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
