I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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