I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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