If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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