we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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