My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
