I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You ruined the universe
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
