What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
