I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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