when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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