I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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