Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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