hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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